I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
