i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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