you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
