those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
