woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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