Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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