I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
