you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
