Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
