Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
there's paper in my vomit.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
