real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
