My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
its liver damage thursday
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
