tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
