sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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