i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
