Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
