Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
