it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
