it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
