I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
