As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
