How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
