dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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