i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
