Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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