I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
