We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
