You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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