she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
