Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
