Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
