We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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