well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize