the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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