So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
