I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
