Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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