sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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