Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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