I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
