spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
