There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
