Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
