so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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