i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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