literally had 100 drinks last night.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
