it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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