seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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