we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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