Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
