why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Oh god it's open bar.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
