I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize