Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
