At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
