And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
