I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
