how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
