Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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