it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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