How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
