Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
