I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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