wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
