But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
