Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
