Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
