hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize