I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
